Archives for the month of: March, 2011

So this episode is the CSI version of World’s Most Famous Detective Story (is that true? I feel like it might be) Murder on the Orient Express. Except this is Murder on a Las Vegas Airlines Plane.

Las Vegas Air

It's reenactment time! WOOP WOOP

Some unfortunate guy is dead in first class and none of the other passengers are talking. Adding to the tension? The CSIs have only 12 hours to solve the case before it gets handed over to the FBI… and the sheriff (gunning for a mayoral role?) wants results.

Sheriff

This little piggy wants... someone to arrest

Petersen Pout

PPP sez... "Tough gig"

The episode unfolds much as its celebrity predecessor might lead you to expect; most of the fun comes from the CSIs’ personal reactions to a case which says some not-very-nice things about human nature. What’s nice is that everybody’s working together.

CSI Vegas

This gives me another great idea for a series: CSI GALACTIC

By the end of the episode, Sara, Warrick and Nick are discussing murder, and whether they’d commit it:

Sara: I wouldn’t, Warrick would, and Nick’s on the fence.

Warrick

"If it was between him or me, I could." BAD. ASS.

Catherine also would, if Lindsey was in danger.

Catherine

WHATCHAGONNADO? Sue me?

So, that’s good to know. Also of interest? Some excellent Mile High Club banter between Sara and Grissom, after these passengers

Mile High clubbers

Guilty!

prove to be fairly crappy eyewitnesses after having shagged in the toilet through the whole performance.

Grissom: You know, high altitude increases the entire sexual experience; increases the euphoria.

Sara Sidle

Euphoria, schmuphoria

Sara: Well, it’s good, but I don’t know if it’s that good.

Grissom

"Cite your sources." (Now she's got his attention)

All very thrilling and just like the Agatha version I’d say it’s a pretty memorable episode case-wise. However, whatever the unfortunate events on the plane (there’s a Samuel L Jackson joke hovering overhead somewhere but I can’t quite reach it), the episode contains only two real crimes:

Greg Sanders

The shirt. Of course the shirt.

(n.b. Greggo nickname watch: “Einstein”)

aaaaaaaaaaand

Vending machine

Vendie DISASTER!!!

Sad vendie man

Lou Everett (you bastard) I feel your pain!

After the previous triumph and disaster I would rate this episode a medium – a return to standard CSI form. It’s mostly about the overarching series storyline that appeared in Episode 1: bodies in the bath.

Corpse in a bathtub

The bath... the sleeping bag... we've all been there

The same killer has struck again and Grissom is determined not to let him get away with it a second time.

Petersen Pout

PPP sez... "I'm determined not to let him get away with it a second time"

Unfortunately that’s exactly what he does, going to have a chat to Original Suspect Paul Millander – a guy who makes rubber Hallowe’en hands, and whose prints appeared at the first scene – but leaving disappointed as Millander doesn’t keep a list of purchasers.

Paul Millander

I'm an artist, not an accountant

After a baffling piece of sleuthing involving a stolen credit card, a tramp, and a series of pictures depicting a dove escaping a pair of hands, Grissom and Catherine realise that the killer is seeking justice (seriously, this part of the case stretches my credulity something chronic… “doves mean peace… but not world peace, peace of mind… what do you need for peace of mind? justice! the killer wants justice!”). After actually speaking to the tramp, they realise just who this justice-seeking guy might be…

Paul Millander

OH HAI

Too bad he is all over it and has already jacked in his business and disappeared. Imagine how upset Grissom is. SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS AIN’T OVER.

Grissom's Rubiks Cube

At least he has his (ready-solved) Rubik's Cube to cheer him up

Along the way there is a happy meeting between Catherine and Grissom’s audiotape expert of choice, who I thought at first was called Sisqo but I think is in fact entitled ‘Disco’ (really…?!).

Disco

Yo Griss my homie (is obviously what is being said here)

He and Catherine take a liking to one another, much to Grissom’s discombobulation.

Grissom awkward

Feelin' like a gooseberry

There’s no follow up but I like to think Catherine gets her rocks off later. SHE DESERVES IT.

What else. Fortunately for the wardrobe dept, Greg has a couple of brief appearances, and a new shirt…

Greg Sanders

I'm trying to focus on what you're saying, but really I'm just thinking about my outfit

… and in the B-plot, Nick and Warrick are facing off over their assignment, in which a guy winds up in hospital after his car runs over the edge of a cliff. Having started the episode receiving a ticking-off for playing video games at work,

Videogame

I'm kind of sad they're not playing NHL ice hockey on the SEGA. Fight! fight! fight!

Nick and Warrick

So told off

the boys’ competitive spirit is all riled up and they’re soon betting on the outcome of the case.

Nick and Warrick bet

The stakes start at $100...

Admiration and lust

... swiftly climb to $200 (is that admiration or just UNBRIDLED LUST in the doctor's eyes? he's looking at Nick so I'm thinking the latter)...

Nick and Warrick bet

... and top out at $300 before the 'victim' revives.

Fortunately for the boys’ professional integrity (and pockets), it turns out that both their theories are wrong and the vic

Tourist

Just another fat, stupid tourist

got himself into the mess in the first place. What a disappointment.

Nick's the man

Don't worry Nick... you still da man (in my eyes) (and that doctor's, too, I expect)

This is a good, creepy, nasty episode: the first with just one crime at its centre. The scene is dripping in gore – allowing for a popular CSI trope, the vomiting cop, to make its own first appearance.

Vomiting cop

The 1st rule of CSI: cops can't hack a bloody mess

Also showing up for the first time? O’Reilly, about whose big craggy face I feel rather fondly.

O'Reilly

A mighty mountain of a man

Anyway, so the crime is a quadruple homicide. Mum, Dad and two sons have both been murdered, leaving only the daughters alive. The oldest one, Tina, soon finds herself under suspicion

Tina

Tina, under suspicion (or, auditioning for an Abba video)

along with her boyfriend, who looks a little bit like a less attractive Heath Ledger.

Heath Ledger-alike

Heath?

Heath Ledger

Heath!

Meanwhile, the youngest sister (second celebrity guest of the season…) is busy making friends with Sara, who Grissom assigns to look after her (and who is less than thrilled with the job).

Sara and kid

Now this is one buddy drama I'd like to see become a full series

It seems like in the end, Sara doesn’t mind spending time with Brenda (who calls their tiny daughter Brenda??) but she is able to MESS WITH GRISSOM’S mind in one of those scenes that makes me love her, just a bit.

Grissom: What are you doing now?
Sara: Going back to the girl.

Dakota Fanning

So small... so vulnerable

Sara: I left her in the car.

Grissom WTF

... whut

Sara: (Explanatory) The windows are cracked.

Catherine WTF

... no seriously, whut

Sara: Give me a little credit. She’s at the hospital.

Nick lolz

OH SARA YOU CRAZY JOKER!

Anyway. This ep is so good I actually don’t want to go into more detail about how things turn out (in case anybody ends up going back to watch it) but suffice to say that this time it’s Grissom who wants to know not just how, but why (something that Catherine was harassing Nick about back in Episode 5) but it’s Catherine whose excellent moment of realisation

Catherine's realisation face

Face of realisation

provides the forensic confirmation. Oh, and there’s time for just one Petersen Pout along the way.

Petersen Pout

PPP sez... "This is a grim and unexpected development"

The broader theme of this episode is to do with the CSIs’ respective priorities. There’s the first inkling of Sara’s extreme all or nothing attitude to the job, as she pops up at Grissom’s side almost as soon as the crime has happened:

Sara: Heard on the scanner, quadruple – figured you might need a hand.
Grissom: You don’t sleep, do you?

Catherine is struggling with related problems, as CSI-ing seems to be taking over her life at the expense of everything else. She misses picking Lindsey up from ballet, for instance. Eddie the Ex does it instead and pretends to be all nicey nicey by making pancakes and giving her a massage…

Eddie massages Cath

The supple hands of TREACHERY

… but he is secretly FULL OF NASTINESS, swiftly accusing Catherine of parental neglect and setting Ted the Social Worker on her case.

Ted

Ted, the sanctimonious face of social work

Outrageous behaviour. Meanwhile, an ongoing dispute is established as Grissom responds badly to pressure from the sheriff about this high-profile case, wanting to get on with his job.

Sheriff

Pressure! Pressure!

Sheriff: Here’s a thought: why don’t you try being more like Ecklie?

Conrad Ecklie

Yes, be like me, smooth, unprincipled and career-minded. Also, the evil twin of Alain de Botton.

Basically, this is about how Grissom might be a great scientist but he’s very bad at people-pleasing. This sets him at a disadvantage against day-shift supervisor Ecklie, who pops up to be very competitive and sanctimonious about how Grissom is committing career suicide by alienating the sheriff. I spy a long-running rivalry in the making!

Grissom crossword

Grissom's better at the old cryptics though AND THAT'S WHAT REALLY COUNTS

A bit of a corker this episode: the inaugural CSI/PD showdown, some insight into Catherine’s past, and the first of many life-threatening situations for Nicky. Oh, and Grissom gets his lovin’ on.

So, to kick things off, Sara and Warrick are investigating an ‘officer involved shooting’. This is the officer involved

Dodgy cop?

Good cop? Bad cop?

and they manage to upset Brass (who seems to have a bit of a vendetta against Warrick in the early part of this season) by wanting to verify his account of what happened with EVIDENCE. Because that’s what CSIs are all about! Anyway in the process not only does Warrick strip down to his tighty whitey (vest, not pants, sorry kids)

Warrick in his vest

A musclebound hunk fo' sho' but I still prefer Nick's Clark Gable-style SHUNNING of the vest

but the cop gets a chance to berate the CSIs in what will become time-honoured fashion: they’re scientists who spend their time in the lab and don’t know what it’s like out on the street. Grissom has probably never even drawn his gun…

… which is super IRONIC of course because what has to happen later in the episode but a GUN SHOWDOWN? It all starts with a skeleton that an unfortunate plumber discovers in the house foundations (and which Nick and Grissom chisel out)

Grissom and Nick

I think they've found Narnia

and which turns out to be a missing person (whose face forensic artist Terri constructs in a glorious Ghost-esque clay scene with the Grisster).

Terri

The look of love

Grissom and Terri

Sing it with me now: "Ohhhh, my love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch..."

Petersen Pout

Really, can you blame the woman? PPP sez, "no you can't"

Dead head

For the work of the country (and Canada)'s best forensic artist, she still looks like a Neanderthal woman from a museum diorama

She’s called Faye and it turns out her (ex-)boyfriend is still living (with his new wife) in the house they shared.

Killers

One of these people is not like the other...

Nick and Grissom

CRIME SOLVING IN PROCESS

Missing the obvious fact that the guy appears to have perfect eyesight and thus is unlikely to be a criminal, Grissom has him arrested, leaving Nicobobinus (who seems to have sorted out his shirt issues and is looking F-I-N-E in this episode with a kind of 50s hairstyle going on) alone with the real culprit and suddenly rather vulnerable…

Gunpoint

Uh oh

Nick in danger

But look at his beautiful face! Don't hurt his beautiful face!

Poor old Nick is basically on the point of despair when Grissom FINALLY puts two and two together and rushes back – drawing his gun, of course, in your face snidey policeman – to rescue the lovely Mr Stokes. Who can’t help falling apart a little bit with relief.

Nick cries

Yes, it's a tear glinting on his cheek. He's a delicate flower. And that's why I like him

Nick isn’t the only one going to bits in this episode: despite Grissom’s best advice

Petersen Pout (again)

PPP says: "I told you to hand this case over to Warrick"

Catherine ends up handling a case involving her ex-husband, Eddie.

Eddie

He looks a bit like a puffy-faced Will Ferrell. Could do better, Catherine

A dancer with a bad fringe (just like Catherine herself once was) accuses him of raping her.

Bad fringe!

Much too short. It's like a reverse Claudia Winkleman

Turns out he didn’t do it, but the whole thing leaves Catherine a little bit shaken. She’s not over Will Ferrell yet.

Catherine cries

He's not worth it, really he isn't

At least she has a bit of banter with Greg to cheer her up.

Greg: So, you used to work at the French Palace, huh? My friends and I used to go there… Maybe I saw you perform.
Catherine: Oh, I doubt it.
Greg: Why?
Catherine: You would have remembered.

Oh and speaking of? Greg shirtwatch says… ANOTHER CORKER! This is evidently the only outlet for the CSI wardrobe department’s frustrated creativity.

Greg's bad shirt

Greg Sanders' shirts: the American equivalent of Pat Butcher's earrings

Last point… Doc Robbins arrives in this episode! What a nice beardy old man he is.

Doc Robbins

Doctor Robbins, what's the worst that can happen? Well, he's a coroner, so, quite bad stuff actually

 

So this episode sees ‘gruesome Grissom’ (an excellent coinage by Jenna the coroner – I like her, it’s a shame that she disappears in the next few episodes) getting emotional about the crime he’s investigating: a kid who has been killed by his best friend while they’re both high on jimson weed.

Sad hot boy

Drugs're bad, mmmmkay?

The boy is quite the hottie [edit: and apparently a bit of a Hero too…] so I can understand Grissom’s emotional involvement.

Petersen Pout

Patented Petersen Pout sez... "I hope you plead diminished responsibility"

In fact, he is so upset by the whole thing that he has to take the Pout on the New York New York rollercoaster (an excellent ride on which I myself have rid), the first appearance of a hobby which gets referenced many times in future episodes. The whole sequence of Grissom doing a mournful face while whizzing round the sky is absolute gold (maybe one day I will set it to an appropriate soundtrack) but I have selected a pout picture as particularly pleasing to my many fans (ahem).

Petersen Pout on a rollercoaster

Pouting through the pain

At least this off-her-face lady at an illegal desert rave does her best to cheer him up.

Grissom gets hugged

Warrick thinks she's on ecstasy but I know it's just the PPP working its magic

Meanwhile a man (if not a face) we will soon grow to know and love makes his first appearance – step up step up David the assistant coroner! Woop.

David the coroner

What a jolly fellow

He cracks onto Sara with an excellent line, which she somehow manages to resist.

David: I really admire the gusto with which you approach your job.

Sara Sidle big mouth

I think this is what he is talking about

Sara, in this episode, applies her gusto to a clingfilmed lady found in a dumpster

Clingfilmed body

Like a microwaveable burrito

who has been graverobbed by her own mortician. Ordinarily this would be something of a shock but let’s take a look at the man in question…

Speccy White Guy

He's white... he's wearing spectacles... I think we all know where this is going

Meanwhile Nick and Catherine have to deal with some evil lesbians

Holding hands

OH HO SOMETHING'S HAPPENING HERE

who aren’t really that evil but have had to kill the headmaster of the school at which they teach to stop him blackmailing them about exposing their relationship to parents. What a horrible man. He kind of deserved to die. So I guess that means Speccy White Guy is the only real villain in this whole episode… what a surprise.

Another thing that isn’t surprising is that Greg is modelling YET ANOTHER hideous shirt.

Greg Sanders bad shirt

It's a corker

Greg Sanders bad shirt

And here in close-up... it's like he illustrated it himself with felt-tip pens

In a new turn of events, he’s also got himself a necklace.

Greg Sanders necklace

I hear Catherine's all about the bling-bling so maybe this is some kind of elaborate plan to attract her

And finally… I don’t really have anywhere that I am going with this, but an excellent face from Nick.

Nick Stokes silly face

Face of "I just told an amusing anecdote about my grandfather"

I knew this episode was going to be better than the last one when this happened in the first five minutes:

Nick Stokes topless

Let me hear you say "YEEEEAH"

Sara (on excellent form in this episode) has it spot on:

Sara: (To Warrick) Fine suit. (To Nick) And just… fine.

She does the ladies a further favour when she criticises Nick’s shirt (once he’s got it on).

Nick's hideous shirt

Sara says this is 'hideous' but I think it's better than the previous ep's Chandler look

Greg Sanders

Now THIS is a hideous shirt

Nick Stokes topless... again

Oh wait. I see what she did there.

Woop and, indeed, woop. In fact there’s a further bonus lurking in store later along in the episode as Warrick gets in on the shirtless action:

Warrick Brown topless

Yeah yeah yeah corruption of the federal courts etc etc

It’s part of his vengeance against Crimplene Shirt Judge who has been trying to get Warrick doing his dirty work again… and let a multiple rapist go free. Huh. It’s almost as if the writers wanted to make the morals absolutely black and white, or something. IT’S ALMOST AS IF THEY DIDN’T TRUST ME TO TAKE AGAINST CRIMPLENE SHIRT MAN JUST ON HIS BAD FASHION AND LIZARD LIKE EYES.

Anyway so in the main plot Grissom and Catherine investigate a woman who died in a lake. There’s some banterous stuff about trying to find a boat – Grissom gets out a massive paddling pool to recreate the scene and Catherine just goes out looking for it – but also a badness happens when Catherine lets slip to the woman’s weirdy husband that she was having an affair with a friend – who the husband immediately assumes is to blame for the death. He’s not, but it all ends rather badly.

Dead guy

Oops

Petersen Pout

The Petersen Pout sez... "I told you not to get emotionally involved in the case."

The reason Catherine messes up is because she feels bad for the guy being cheated on – because HER ex, Eddie, cheated on her – and there’s an unexpected moment which suggests a kind of outside-work friendship between Grissom and Catherine that I don’t remember getting properly followed up at any point.

Catherine: When Eddie was cheating on me, I sure wish somebody would’ve said something.
Grissom: You mean me?
Catherine: Who else?

Maybe I’m wrong and it does crop up again. I’ll keep my eye out.

In the B-plot, Sara and Nick investigate a fraternity murder. It involves a dude with a phone number written on his penis, which Nick finds a little bit uncomfortable.

Nick embarrassed

Face of man-meat embarrassment

Sara doesn’t.

Sara Sidle grin

Face of amusement at Nick squirming

Aside from all that shizzle (and this horrendous frat boy)

Fratboy

"My Dad's a top defence attorney"

my discerning eye has, erm, discerned a weird food theme running throughout this episode. The frat boy dies choking on a piece of raw liver. Grissom and Catherine identify the dead woman’s lover by following her stomach contents to a local seafood restaurant. And the CSIs just CAN’T. STOP. EATING…

Brass and Catherine eating burgers

Brass and Catherine opt for takeout burgers

Nick Stokes burrito

Nick goes for a microwave burrito (Sara: Junk food and radiation... good combo.)

Grissom eats Chinese

Ever the showoff, Grissom has the chopsticks out

Greg Sanders Ben and Jerry

aaaaaand the people's pathologist (he's actually a chemist but it doesn't sound so good) Greg Sanders plumps for a lovely pot of Ben and Jerry's. Yummo.

So, there’s that. Also of note? Grissom’s nicknames for Greg. He debuts two in this episode and I like them both: Professor, and Butch.

I gotta say… this episode is a bit lacklustre. It is the first dud of the show. On the positive side, it includes a woman being buried alive…

Buried alive

For a Victorian literature student like me, this is always gonna be a winner

… but on the downside, the storyline apart from that is less than thrilling. Bla bla bla, millionaire’s wife runs off with personal trainer, bla bla bla… There’s also a B-plot about Hans Moleman’s grandson crashing a car.

Moleman

Hans Moleman?

Hans Moleman

Hans Moleman!

Moleman tries to take the fall, Catherine and Warrick are tempted to let him, but THE TRUTH IS THE TRUTH and they have to be honest about it. Luckily the kid gets rewarded with Warrick’s phone number at the end of it. Many ladies would run over scooter-riding little girls for less.

The kid is not the only one getting lucky – there’s a bit of Grissom/Sara action if you’re into that. Below, he’s checking she’s alright after they dig the lady out of the desert; later, she has him duct tape her wrists together in an unnecessary but enjoyable investigatory way. “I love my job,” Grissom tells Catherine. Dirty mare.

Grissom and Sara

FEEL THE HEAT

What else. It’s Lindsey’s birthday

Cake

CSI CAKE

and all the CSIs want to buy her presents. Well, one present. Which, judging by the retro packaging, they seem to have gone back to 1964 to purchase. Maybe Grissom got it off eBay, like the pager reader thing in the previous episode.

Grissom's gift

From Grissom...

Nick's present

... and Nick. Thunder? Consider it stolen.

Nick also seems to have stolen Chandler’s shirt.

Nick Chandler shirt

Hey wait it's not even the nineties anymore

Horrendous fashion choices aside (at least it’s not the hideous grey jumper which appears in later episodes and which I will be treating with the contempt and also the wonder it deserves) Nick is basically the doofus of this episode. He keeps kind of blundering around – he almost makes Brass jump out of his skin when he pops up in his car during a stakeout, he’s left holding the chem sets when everybody else has more important stuff to do, doesn’t really understand how the voice analysis system works, and almost misses the clue to the whole case (until Grissom shoves it in his face). Poor Nicky. He’s better than this!! I know he is!

Nick realisation

Excellent eyebrow acting here from George Eads as Nick enjoys a moment of realisation. I love it when you can see them think. Luckily, so do the CSI directors

Well, it’s all shabazzle in the second episode as the CSIs have to deal with the fallout from letting Holly get shot on her first day in the job. Warrick, modelling an earring which I am sure doesn’t last beyond the first season, is taking most of the flak.

Warrick's earring

As Catherine says in a weird exchange with Holly's killer... "Maybe a little bling bling?"

Catherine 'what' face

Yeah, I don't know what you were on about either, lady. But I like you, so I'll let it slide.

Catherine bad suit

This suit, on the other hand, we really need to talk about

Not only is Sara Sidle on Warrick’s case (WOOP WOOP) but a creepy old judge guy in a Crimplene shirt keeps following him around.

Horrible old judge

You'd be sad too if you were this guy's bitch

Poor Warrick. Luckily his gambling skills are so proficient that he’s able to make $11,000 in A SINGLE HOUR to pay off the judgeface… for now. (Why is he still working at CSI? He could be making a killing on the blackjack tables!)

Greggo

It's not just the judge. You can always rely on Greggo to bring the bad shirts.

There’s also a case to solve – and guess who’s involved?

Speccy White Guy 2

MY INSTINCTS ARE NEVER WRONG

OH YEAH it’s another Speccy White Guy! Granted this one is ‘the victim’ not the criminal but he’s still pretty unpleasant. He dumps his girlfriend when he wins $40 million on the slots. Who can blame her for killing him?

Buff White Guy

Buff

He is pretty stacked I guess. He probably could do better. On the other hand, his muscular build, while pleasing to the eye, puts him outside the true SWG stereotype (and is probably the real reason why HE HAS TO DIE).

Nick (probably feeling some hunky sympathy) isn’t too impressed with the girl whodunnit. She gets his best face.

Nicky

Bish, please

The real story of the episode though is the establishment of the CSI team we KNOW AND LOVE. Sara rocks in from San Francisco (albeit, not to everybody’s best pleasure: she has Catherine’s hackles up straightaway) and Brass is moved away from CSI and onto Homicide.

Brass leaves

Sorry, Jimbo

We all know what that means…

Nick: Who’s gonna run the unit?
Grissom: For now, me.

YOU KNOWZ IT, G-DOG! “For now” my ass.

Team

ThasswhadI'mtalkinabout

Last word goes to Nicky, who with typical incisiveness asks Grissom the question on EVERYBODY’S minds.

Nick: How do you know all this crap?

First episode, first series, weird theme tune (thank goodness they junked it by season 2) and SO MANY NEWS to discuss. The central storyline (by which I mean, the Nick Stokes storyline) involves Warrick and Nick competing to solve their 100th case.

Crime Board

I just don't think you can order these from Rymans

I can suspend my disbelief with probably more facility than most people but I can’t be alone in finding the physical actuality of the ‘Crimes Solved’ board a little bit unlikely. Number one: the 100th crime that Nick and Warrick will tackle hasn’t been assigned at this point in the episode… so how can it be on the board? Who keeps the board updated with newly printed, completed lists? Where do you buy ‘solved’ magnets? I JUST DON’T BUY IT. Luckily, the board is onscreen for less than 3 seconds and so all these questions are rapidly displaced by the SHEER CRIME-SOLVING FUN that succeeds them.

Luckily for Nick and Warrick’s tallies, the writers are really packing it in plot-wise. We see a suicide in a bathtub that turns out to be a murder (this is the storyline that links the whole series so it’s not resolved within the episode); a Speccy White Guy who shoots a home invader not really in self-defence;

Speccy White Guy

Always distrust the Speccy White Guy

a trick-roll which Nick deals with in his own inimitable fashion (charming both the troll-looking tourist victim and the prostitute responsible);

Out of Towner

Outside Vegas, the world is not a glamorous place

a random molestation of a small child who seems to be wearing her mother’s wig;

Bad hair day child

This is not a good look

a liquor-store robbery and some other kind of a robbery, both of which get dumped on (short-lived) new girl Holly and both of which see her end up at the wrong end of a gun. Unlucky. At least she has time to meet the fetal pig before she’s lying in intensive care looking like her time is up.

Fetal Pig

See the fetal pig and die happy - that's what I heard

She’s also relieved of some bodily fluids, pretty damn straight:

Grissom: I need a pint of your blood. It’s customary for all new hires.
Holly: Why?
Grissom: So many reasons.

Specifically (if I understood correctly), this reason.

Head smash

Love a gratuitous recreation of a crime

Warrick asks whose blood it is and Grissom tells him it’s the new girl’s. Isn’t that just a tiny bit INSANE? I know that in later seasons Ecklie starts bitching about resources being tight but surely draining your staff of their blood only to whap it all over office in the course of a single murder investigation isn’t a particularly sustainable way to keep the cupboards stocked, either…?

In any case, it’s a pretty rollicking start. Holly isn’t the only anomaly about this episode: as with any pilot, the writers and producers are obviously testing the waters and there are a whole bunch of randomers knocking around the lab, including this cuddly-looking but disconcertingly lechy coroner:

Coroner

Dirty old man

As Holly runs out of the room to vomit, he comments that she’s ‘cute’. I DON’T THINK SO, GRANDPA.

The other unfamiliar face is this lovely lady

Fingerprint lady

She's a hottie, I'll give you that

– I don’t think we even get her name but it’s evident that Grissom has had more than that…

Grissom: If latex and cooking spray went on a blind date… how would the night end?
Random fingerprints lady: A lot better than ours did.
Grissom: I know. Pink Floyd’s not your thing.
Random fingerprints lady: I have on cowboy boots. I work in a lab. What makes you think Dark Side of the Moon synched to the Wizard of Oz is gonna warm a damn barn?

Yeah Grissom, WHAT ABOUT HER DAMN BARN?

Nick

Now this face would warm all kinds of barns. Or really any kind of farm building.

Maybe he seduced her in his badass glasses.

Grissom in glasses

Veering dangerously close to Speccy White Guy territory

Who am I kidding? Grissom only needs one weapon in his Seduction Armory (TM).

Grissom pouting

The Patented Petersen Pout

The fingerprints lady is just part of Grissom’s (soon to become) uncharacteristic cuddliness. No really, he actually gets involved in some cuddling.

Grissom hugs Holly

I'm sure this would incur sexual assault charges in most workplaces

WOT. This is not the Grissom I know. Luckily for my sense of normalcy there’s one lovely labrat who’s already installed in office: GREGGO!

Greggo

He doesn't look a day over 12

Modelling a particularly unattractive shirt, he gets one of the episode’s best quotables:

‘I’m gonna warn you, though, these mouth swabs don’t always read. Vaginal swabs, no problem. Anal swabs – money.’

Nicktory!

Anal swabs FTW!