Archives for the month of: April, 2011

This is a SEXY episode!

Greg in a headdress

TOO SEXY FOR MY HEADDRESS

Greggo is not the only one who is in the mood.

Greg: Did you ever wear one of these when you were dancing?
Catherine: I wore nothing but skin.

I LOVE IT WHEN THEY FLIRT. Also, this.

Sexy times

TOO SEXY FOR OUR ACTUAL CLOTHES

Sultry

What makes it even more sexy is when Grissom and Catherine watch. YEAAAH we did

These two appear on the scene after a girl is found drowned at a glamorous party

Drowned

Bummer

… which they are hosting despite being a) suspiciously without a past and b) not the rich old lady whose master bedroom they are shagging in.

Glamorous couple

What do you mean no past, we are leading Scientologists Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes (ish)

Other sexy times? Grissom ‘accidentally’ chats up a dancing girl

Grissom: I was just… looking around.
Showgirl: See anything you like?
Grissom: Yes, I do.

Grissom pout

PPP sez... "it's the sparkly bikini"

and Warrick gets topless for a closer look.

Warrick topless

Let's hear it for a body in a pool!

Catherine Willows

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, SISTER

Outside of sexytimes I would say this is a kind of good day/bad day episode.

Bad day for Warrick (despite the hottitude) as he gets taken off glamorous drowning duties and put on a tedious case with a body in a glass lift.

Warrick pissed

Whut.

Good day for Greggo, who is full of cheer (and playing loud music) as he makes a series of dramatic discoveries.

Greg

Full of DNA-based delight

Greg happy

Dead cheerleader yaaaay

Bad day for Sara, who is exhausted.

Sara: I’m tired.
Nick: You? Tired? I thought you never sleep!

Sara Sidle yawn

She wishes she slept tho (AKA, Gustoface returns)

Sara Sidle tired

ALL I WANT IS STEAK. Even though I am supposedly a veggie by this point in my life.

Good day for Doc Robbins, who (unlike Sara) just can’t get enough coffee.

Doc Robbins coffee

This is where your (imaginary, American) tax dollars are going, people! Coffee machines for the coroner!

Bad day for CSI fashion, as Nick models a horrendously-necked jumper

Nick Stokes bad jumper

'Girlfriend repellent'? I don't know what you mean

and Grissom manages to unearth the world’s least flattering sunglasses.

Grissom sunglasses

Did anybody see the other two Blind Mice around here somewhere?

Best day? These fat little fishies. Can you guess what happened to Rich Old Lady?

Fishies

YUM YUM FULL OF CHOLESTEROL

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So this episode is about LOVE. It starts with a nice doggie finding a bone in the desert

Doggie

Errr... thanks Lassie

so then Catherine and Grissom have to get the cadets out to find all the rest (it must be so boring being a cadet, the only time they appear is when they have to search an enormous area of desert for something relatively tiny).

Cadets

It's a hard knock life

The bones turn out to belong to the husband of this nice old lady

Old Lady

Chopped up body, you say? I only popped out for hairnets and catfood

… who initially tells them that he’s out shopping.

Grissom licks a bone

Tastes fishy to me... oh no, rocky. It tastes like a rock.

Anyway that all ends very ambiguously. Meanwhile Warrick and Sara investigate the murder of a male dancer (obviously I would have a hotstuff picture here normally but when I started freezeframing he turned out to be weirdly veiny and it creeped me out). They get to interrupt a wedding party

Wedding

Most unsuccessful wedding since Jane and Mr Rochester swung by

and the bride (from Wisconsin… always an indicator of Idiot Tourist Syndrome) is one of the first characters to learn the lesson that ‘What happens in Vegas…’ is just something people say and not, in fact, an indication that the Strip is some kind of alternate reality.

Sad bride

Sorry love (geddit? LOVE!)

What else. Greg’s cracked out another excellent shirt (and is cracking onto Catherine – I love it when this happens. I wish she would really respond in a big way. He wouldn’t know what to do. She is TOO MUCH WOMAN for him to handle).

Greggo

Is that made of denim?!

Speaking of handling women, lovely Terri the clay-handling anthropologist has returned.

Gil Grissom

Yeah and I bet you ARE pleased to see her

Griss busts out his best lines, as usual

Terri: Well, maybe you two don’t need me after all.
Griss: I would never turn away a scientist of your talent.

(Doesn’t seem a million miles away from David’s attempt to chat up Sara, but more successful here…)

Terri

POW! Grissom knows how to please a lady

Terri doesn’t bust out her best lines…

Terri: I have to apologise for not returning your call last month.
Grissom: Terri, I admire your dedication to your work.
Terri: Dedication to my work didn’t keep me from returning your call.

… ouch! Nevertheless, Grissom wheedles his way into dinner at the end of the episode.

Grissom and Terri at dinner

Actually I already ate... A ROCK.

It’s all going so well until Grissom gets a call about two decomposing bodies in a crack house… nothing ruins a date like an urgent entomological mission. Oh well.

Boom is right! The budget has gone crazy in this ep and we have a real super bona fide explosion… or several.

Nick Stokes topless

BOOM! Oh wait, you meant...

Boom!

Televisual DECADENCE

The episode kicks off with a bomb exploding in a big office block, killing a security guard and landing Warrick, Catherine and Sara with a massive great jigsaw puzzle as they try to work out what happened. Grissom, meanwhile, is spending time with suspect numero uno

Berkum

What a chubbly berkum

– another security guard with a suspiciously encyclopaedic knowledge of explosives. However, as time passes, Grissom begins to bond with this weird and kindly fellow, so that by the time the real culprit is discovered and Berko is left holding the bomb, it’s all become a little personal.

Berkum 2

Face of imminent fiery death

Grissom explosion

There he goes... Grissom's no.1 candidate for potential friendship

Grissom clocks

Now he has only his bajillion clocks for company

Bad times. (Times… geddit?)

Of course the real personal interest storyline comes from (let’s face it) everybody’s main person of interest, lovely Nicky Stokes. After a few drinks with an old uni pal, he turns down the chance of a night chasing these babes

Babes

The very embodiment of 'What happens in Vegas'

and is just heading home to write reports (what a geek) when he comes across our OLD FRIEND Kristy Hopkins, getting in a fight with a suspicious randomer. One rescue later (Nick loves to be a knight in shining armour) and she’s inviting him in for a drink…

Kristy

ALLURING

Kristy: Just ‘cos you’re a crime scene analyst, you don’t have to analyse everything.

Nick Stokes sexytimes

Analyse THAT

So far so good but suddenly DISASTER STRIKES as Nick’s cosy morning-after breakfast turns into a MURDER SCENE. And he’s prime suspect.

Nick shock

Face of regretting I ever let it out my pants

Even worse? Ecklie is investigating and on his most sanctimonious form.

Conrad Ecklie

Loving it more than JT loves a Big Mac

Ecklie: You think I wanna believe that a CSI could commit murder? Hell, I don’t even wanna believe that a CSI could sleep with a hooker.

WHATEVS CONRAD. WE’VE ALL DONE IT.

Anyway if a CSI gets arrested apparently it’s automatic dismissal – good thing for Nick that Catherine (lovely lady that she is) (the fact that she saves Nick’s ass isn’t even the main reason why I love her) is on the case. One moment of realisation later

Catherine Willows moment of realisation

Aha!

and she has a slam-dunk on Kristy’s dodgy pimp.

Jack

Booo! Hiss!

Yeehaw!

Nick and Catherine

Catherine, you're an absolute hero

Unfortunately before Pimpy gets put away he has time for a quick confrontation with Nick, just enough to disillusion him about Kristy’s avowed plans to reform and get an education. ALL LIES (apparently).

Jack: This isn’t Pretty Woman. She wasn’t Julia Roberts. You’re not Richard Gere.

Nick confrontation

And a good thing too, Richard Gere is one of the least sexy men ever, I think we all know that Nicky is SEX FACTOR 10

Nick Stokes topless

Let's examine the evidence one more time, shall we? Boom!!!

This is a bit of a meh episode but you just have to remember that lots of it is buildup for next week’s Nickyfest (woop woop!).

First things first, in Nicky news, he and Catherine are on a casino-based case, the murder of a young kid who was placing bets on some bigdog’s behalf. Catherine gets the chance to empathise with the kid’s mother

Catherine Willows cries

YOU ALSO HAVE A CHILD! I WEEP FOR YOU! AND FOR ALL WOMANKIND!

and Nick models a classic realisationface as he solves the case.

Nick Stokes realisation face

Oho!

There’s also an enjoyable appearance from the dead guy’s brother, who looks like a sad beaver.

Sad beaver boy

Seriously though he could be in Narnia or something

However, the episode’s main storyline involves Grissom (and Sara and Warrick) taking over on a case that Ecklie has already dealt with and which is about to go to trial. Griss gets a mystery video in the mail from this guy

TV man

It'll be on Youtube by the afternoon

(why couldn’t he write a letter? probably wanted to show off his oddly Shakespearean voice) asking Griss to investigate the arson case for which he’s being prosecuted and in which his wife and son dies. As the team realise that Ecklie’s been there before, they realise this is another instance of Grissom lacking nous when it comes to office politics.

Catherine: I see a bad moon rising

Catherine bad moon rising

How I wish that Catherine Willows would join me at Ukulele Wednesdays

She’s right, of course; but more than just being oblivious, Grissom actually seems to relish the opportunity to out-science Ecklie (or ‘Eck’ as he incongruously calls him at one point). He’s in a bizarrely good mood for most of the episode…

Pouting experiment

PPP sez... I LOVE SCIENCE

Grissom happy

Yeeeeeeah

Warrick: Griss, do you ever worry about professional suicide?
Grissom: Not while I’m committing it, no!

Grissom delighted

He loves it

… which culminates in a showdown in which Grissom smashes a coffee jug. Looks like we’re in for stormy weather… but it’s not Griss who’ll take the fall.

Ecklie coffee jug

Ecklie modelling fall colours (colors) and a bad face, as usual

So the main plot of this episode – the one that opens the show – is about a guy murdering women and keeping them in his refrigerated truck.

Catherine and Gil

Frozen corpse discoveryfaces

But that’s almost by the by in an episode primarily preoccupied with personal relationships. Warrick and Sara have a showdown as she accuses him of being a gambling addict and complains that Grissom hasn’t fired him, as she recommended.

Warrick angry

Showing down (but also, reminding me of...

Pleo

...this guy, Pleo the robotic baby dinosaur. Is that just me? Something about the eyes.)

In fact, Pleo isn’t the only person Warwick is looking like this ep.

Warrick Pout

Oh no, he di'n't

Grissom pout

Of course he did

Meanwhile elsewhere in Sara and Warrick’s case there’s a funny moment that reminds you of how old this first series actually is.

Sara: Hard to miss all that high-tech computer equipment. There’s got to be five, ten grand there. First thing I’d take.

Wow, five or ten grand’s worth of computers?

High tech?

'All that' equipment

Oh yeah I forgot, it’s 2001.

Other things which date this episode include Grissom’s office ‘burglar alarm’: Big Mouth Billy Bass

Big Mouth Billy Bass

Surely the only thing that Gil Grissom and David Brent have in common

and… well, I would say Greg’s shirt but I think that’s just how Greggo rolls.

Greg Sanders

Rollin' with my homies

In Nick news, he is getting all hot under the collar as Kristy the prostitute from episode 1 resurfaces.

Kristy: My nipples are all better. Wanna see?

Kristy

Don't even go there, lady

It looks for a while like Nickyboy might be getting lucky, but…

Nick and Kristy

STEAMY MOMENT (note the soft focus)

Billy Bass

"Think of your reputation, Nick! Think of the lab's reputation!"

 

Nick fed up

Oh man. Cockblocked by a rubber fish.

Looks like he’ll have to cope with the next best thing instead.

Greg shirt

... a grope of Greggo's manly moob.

Nick and Greg

Seriously though I can see how all those Nick/Greg slashfics got started

Good thing he would never do anything stupid like SLEEP with Kristy. Right, Nick? RIGHT???

This is a very Grissom and Sara-y episode if you like that kind of thing. They’re handling the central case, the murder of a woman whose body is found out in the desert and whose husband (celebrity guest evil wife-murderer Paul Young from Desperate Housewives [is he actually a wife-murderer in DH? I think that’s a lie. He’s definitely dodgy though]) rapidly becomes prime suspect.

Paul Young

Look at that smug, wife-beaty face

Sara hates a wife-beater of course so gets to have an enjoyable showdown with Paul (or ‘Scott’ as he is calling himself) as he reacts badly to her accusations about him, erm, shooting his wife and dumping the body.

Sara Sidle angry

DON'T MESS WITH IT

Creepy Wife Beater (to Grissom): I told you she was a handful.
Sara: You don’t know a handful!

Excellent line! Sara I love you. Unfortunately after this first rate beginning the case starts to get to her, she ends up sleeping in the office as she is staying so late to work (instance #2 of the ‘Sara is a workaholic’ trope) and then ends up in this GSRtastic exchange with Grissom as he tries to play down her sense of emotional responsibility for the case.

Sara: Do you wanna sleep with me?
Grissom: Did you just say what I think you said?
Sara: That way, when I wake up in a cold sweat under the blanket, hearing Kaye’s screams, you can tell me it’s nothing. It’s just empathy.

Petersen Pout

PPP sez... "I was keen until I heard about the sweating and the screaming. Actually, I'm still keen."

Little does she know that Grissom is working his entomological socks off trying to sort out the insect evidence to make sure Evil Wife Beater Vest goes down.

Gil Grissom

Insect darts: a new pub sport

As usual it takes a Gratuitous Crime Reconstruction to work out what really happened, this time involving Grissom and Sara sitting (presumably for several days) watching a pig decompose. Ahhh, love…

Pigwatch

Like the worst kind of family camping trip

NB Future knowledge alert: this is the incident to which Sara will, in a later episode, attribute her vegetarianism; thus making it ironic (?) or at least significant that at the beginning of the episode, Grissom is borrowing ‘that beef jerky [she’s] always gnawing on’ to feed his bugs with. (I don’t really buy Sara being a big beef jerky eater, given her distaste for Nick’s microburrito, but OK whatevs.)

Meanwhile in other news, Nick’s been on a date (with this lady)

Some bimbo

Obviously, I hate her face

who he is then a little embarrassed to find himself working with on some super-snoozefest missing persons case.

Rollneck jumper lady: We had dinner last week. I thought it went great. You never called.
Nick: That doesn’t mean I wasn’t going to.

Lady. Say it with me. HE’S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. [mwahahahaaa]

Also, Catherine is still getting hassle from child services, who have contacted Warrick to ask about her parenting; luckily, he tells them ‘where mothers are concerned, [she’s] the bomb’. YEAH loyalty, friendship and a little frisson of mutual attraction.

Catherine Willows

And who wouldn't be attracted to this fox?

Unfortunately for Warrick, Ecklie is on the warpath against him

Conrad Ecklie

He just has an unfortunate face

and Grissom has to set Sara tracking his movements all over again. As she finds him on a security tape entering the Monaco (when he should have been in court), it’s not looking good for Grissom’s ‘favourite CSI’. (Really? Maybe that’s why he’s not my favourite despite his obvious hunkliness. In the words of Gretchen Wilson/the whole nation of Britain, ‘I’m for the underdog’…)