Archives for category: CSIs vs cops

Lesson from this week’s episode? EXPECT THE UNEXPECTED.

That’s true for these guys, doofus touristicii who we see in the opening scene getting ripped off by a Vegas conman:

Stupid tourists

"We're honest people"... honest

It’s true for the conman, who ends up shot in a car park shortly after making off with $2000 of their money:

Griss (looks at body): Striking resemblance to Judas.
Brass: How’s that?
Griss: Both men lost their lives over a worthless bag of chips. (ROLL TITLE SEQUENCE)

Chippie chips

Worthless?? ARE YOU CRAZY IN THE HEAD?

Casino chips

Oh what yeah these are actually pretty worthless. OK.

It’s definitely true for Warrick, who gets lumbered with running the shift as Catherine’s in Reno and Grissom is cockroach-racing at an entomological convention in Deleuze.

Warrick Brown unlucky

UNLUCKY

Warrick: Acting supervisor? What about Nick – he’s got seniority? Or Sara – she’d jump at the chance.
Grissom: If it was about seniority, I’d ask Nick. If I wanted someone to stay up for three straight days, I’d ask Sara. Instead, I want you.

Patented Petersen Pout

PPP sez... "I want you"

Warrick Brown hot

... and I think we can ALL see why

It’s also true for Sara and Nick, when they find out. Nick (all round solid and amazing guy that he is) takes the snub well. Sara – who doesn’t have seniority and therefore has much less right to be pissed off – is, unsurprisingly, a little harder to handle.

Sara Sidle angry

So full of burning rage

It’s true for Special Agent Beckman, who accidentally ends up in the middle of one of Sara and Warrick’s many rows.

Warrick Brown Sara Sidle argument

Argument in progress

Special Agent Beckman

AWKWARD

It’s true for Sara, when Special Agent Beckman turns out to be running a complicated, Sherlock Holmes-style double-bluff to test her morals. Turns out those doofy tourists weren’t so doofy after all?

Sara Sidle betrayed

BETRAYED by the cut-glass cheekbones

Don’t worry Sara I don’t think he would be much of a lover:

Special Agent Beckman: Never feels right when it works; only feels wrong when it doesn’t.

BUT most of all, as the episode title suggests, it’s true for Captain Jim Brass, whose daughter Ellie turns out to be involved with the central crime and with some rather shady characters.

Ellie Rebecca Brass

NO WAYYYYYYZ

Ellie Brass bitchface

YES WAYYYYYYZ

Jim Brass sad

SAD DAYYYYYYZ

Ellie’s shady dealings (and flagrant ingratitude to her dear old dad) land both of them in trouble, as Brass goes all vigilante on her boyfriend

Car Chase

Not the best way to meet the parents

and finds Warrick having to confiscate his badge.

Badge confiscation

EMASCULATION

Conrad Ecklie

Ecklie - never knowingly absent when somebody's getting bitched out

The episode is notable for rekindling the mutual dislike between Warrick and Brass that was evident at the beginning of Season 1 but seems to have been let slide until now; anyway it’s back with a vengeance (as you can imagine) after this incident, and isn’t much helped by Ellie’s shameless flirting with the W-man.

Ellie to Warrick: Will you fill me up, Warrick?

Warrick resisting

I get enough of this kind of thing from Grissom, thanks

Some of her lines have a touch of the Louis Walsh about them:

Ellie to Warrick: You know, you have this whole Lenny Kravitz thing going on.

Louis Walsh

"like a little Lenny Henry"

Others are just terrifyingly prescient:

Ellie: Everyone I sleep with dies.

Ellie Brass flirting

SHE'S GONE MOFFAT! (this is assuming they did actually sleep together, of course)

Poor Brass. A daughter who doesn’t respect him and who is desperate to get into the pants of the one guy at work who he doesn’t really like.

Captain Jim Brass emotional

In a glass case of emotion

Jim Brass head injury

(He also sustains a head injury)

Thank goodness, then, for this episode’s one really reliable element: Catherine’s maternal empathy, which she phones in all the way from Reno. Can’t have a parent-child relationship without Catherine passing comment!

Catherine Willows maternal empathy

Yeah yeah yeah weeping for you Jimbo - but only a little as you're not a laydee. WHATEVS

This is the final episode of season one! DRAMA! Never fear, C.S.I. Love you will provide a Special End of Season Celebration Post to mark this momentous time – but first, a full discussion of this first season finale. I’d say it’s a bit of a cracker, particularly for the way in which it incorporates many of the top aspects of the season as a whole.

Just to give a quick outline, the thread of the episode is Grissom’s mission (and it is, really, Grissom who’s the main character, as he is throughout the season) (Nick is only the main character in my head)

Nick Stokes cute

SORRY NICK! I mean, in my head... AND IN THIS BLOG. Of course.

to track down a ‘signature killer’, nicknamed the ‘Strip Strangler’ by an FBI agent more media-savvy than our bumbling hero. He’s been brutally attacking women all across town and there’s a time pressure on the team to identify and locate him before he strikes again; as well as pressure from the sheriff, who brings in the FBI agents to ‘assist’ (read: take over from) Grissom.

Sheriff CSI

The luminous ear of indignation

Agent Culpepper CSI

Special Agent Culpepper: not even the best-named man in the episode

Sid Goggle CSI

Sid Goggle: the best-named man in the episode

So: what does this episode include that we C.S.I. LOVE to see?

First off: GSR (Grissom Sara Romance for them as is not down with the acronymz). Culpepper’s cunning plan boils down to ‘baiting’ the killer by having Sara visit a ‘specialty grocery store’ frequented by two of the victims: this actually translates into her hanging awkwardly around a kind of budget corner shop while Dwight from the US Office tries to chat her up.

Dwight from the Office in CSI

Face of awkward Sidle love

Sara Sidle creeped out

Face of 'Are you a murderer or just a bit creepy'

The idea of Sara being used like this? It makes Grissom MAD. (That’s the GSR bit I was talking about.)

Grissom angry

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRissom

Second off: Catherine being more politic than Grissom, and deliberately not taking advantage of it. The sheriff pretty much offers her his job, and she turns it down.

Catherine Willows surprised

I don't know why she's so surprised when it happens all the time

The other old favourites permit a more quickfire approach.

BLAM! Sidle rage at a violent crime against women (see: ep 10, ep 16) .

Sara Sidle damn that guy

"Damn that guy"

BLAM! Olde technologie (see: ep 11); the guy hoovers the crime scene for stray hairs and then takes the hoover bag away with him.

Sara Sidle sad vacuum

If only it had been a Dyson! No bag!

BLAM! Bad Greggo shirt.

Greg Sanders shirt

You may have noticed that this happens in almost every episode

BLAM! Catherine and Greg excellent flirtatious banter (see: ep 6):

Catherine (to Greg): Freakiest semen I’ve seen in a while. Call me.

BLAM! Nicky getting freaked out (this time, by someone hiding in a cupboard).

Nick Stokes surprised

AAAARGH!

Nick Stokes surprised

WAAAARGH!

Nick Stokes angry upset

WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT??

Bonus BLAM:

Nick: Get outta there… get out of the closet. What are you doing?!

Trapped in the Closet

Ye-eah!

Speaking of which… BLAM! Dubious stereotyping of the LGBT population (see: ep 22).

Hunter S Baumgartner

Hunter S Baumgartner, competitor for Sid Goggle's 'best name' title, noted homosexual, wearer of a net T-shirt and perpetrator of jazz hands

BLAM! A poorly-executed copycat crime.

Patented Petersen Pout

PPP sez... "This is a poorly executed copycat crime"

Bonus BLAM: Grissom’s Born This Way t-shirt

Mr Schue Butt Chin shirt

YOU SAID IT, MR SCHUE

Double-bonus BLAM! Comic insight into Grissom’s psyche:

Grissom: It’s like with cake… you’re just going to have a little bit of the frosting and you end up eating the entire plate.

Bruce Bogtrotter

Flashback to Grissom's youth

BLAM! Catherine being badass and saving the day (see: ep 13 but also, the whole season).

Catherine WIllows gunshot

Not actually gunfire but THE BLAZING LIGHT OF FEMINIST SUPERIORITY

Catherine WIllows badass

You said it, sister

Relevant-to-last-week’s-episode BLAM! Peanut reference.

Nick to imaginary girlfriend: I gotta run, peanut. Love you too – byebye.

Nick Stokes caught in the act

What's that? Your imaginary girlfriend is in fact an English blogger from 2011? SOUNDS PLAUSIBLE

And finally… not really a BLAM! Lady in a wizard hat. Yeah, you heard me.

Wizard hat lady

HERMIONE? IS THAT YOU?

So the main plot of this episode – the one that opens the show – is about a guy murdering women and keeping them in his refrigerated truck.

Catherine and Gil

Frozen corpse discoveryfaces

But that’s almost by the by in an episode primarily preoccupied with personal relationships. Warrick and Sara have a showdown as she accuses him of being a gambling addict and complains that Grissom hasn’t fired him, as she recommended.

Warrick angry

Showing down (but also, reminding me of...

Pleo

...this guy, Pleo the robotic baby dinosaur. Is that just me? Something about the eyes.)

In fact, Pleo isn’t the only person Warwick is looking like this ep.

Warrick Pout

Oh no, he di'n't

Grissom pout

Of course he did

Meanwhile elsewhere in Sara and Warrick’s case there’s a funny moment that reminds you of how old this first series actually is.

Sara: Hard to miss all that high-tech computer equipment. There’s got to be five, ten grand there. First thing I’d take.

Wow, five or ten grand’s worth of computers?

High tech?

'All that' equipment

Oh yeah I forgot, it’s 2001.

Other things which date this episode include Grissom’s office ‘burglar alarm’: Big Mouth Billy Bass

Big Mouth Billy Bass

Surely the only thing that Gil Grissom and David Brent have in common

and… well, I would say Greg’s shirt but I think that’s just how Greggo rolls.

Greg Sanders

Rollin' with my homies

In Nick news, he is getting all hot under the collar as Kristy the prostitute from episode 1 resurfaces.

Kristy: My nipples are all better. Wanna see?

Kristy

Don't even go there, lady

It looks for a while like Nickyboy might be getting lucky, but…

Nick and Kristy

STEAMY MOMENT (note the soft focus)

Billy Bass

"Think of your reputation, Nick! Think of the lab's reputation!"

 

Nick fed up

Oh man. Cockblocked by a rubber fish.

Looks like he’ll have to cope with the next best thing instead.

Greg shirt

... a grope of Greggo's manly moob.

Nick and Greg

Seriously though I can see how all those Nick/Greg slashfics got started

Good thing he would never do anything stupid like SLEEP with Kristy. Right, Nick? RIGHT???

A bit of a corker this episode: the inaugural CSI/PD showdown, some insight into Catherine’s past, and the first of many life-threatening situations for Nicky. Oh, and Grissom gets his lovin’ on.

So, to kick things off, Sara and Warrick are investigating an ‘officer involved shooting’. This is the officer involved

Dodgy cop?

Good cop? Bad cop?

and they manage to upset Brass (who seems to have a bit of a vendetta against Warrick in the early part of this season) by wanting to verify his account of what happened with EVIDENCE. Because that’s what CSIs are all about! Anyway in the process not only does Warrick strip down to his tighty whitey (vest, not pants, sorry kids)

Warrick in his vest

A musclebound hunk fo' sho' but I still prefer Nick's Clark Gable-style SHUNNING of the vest

but the cop gets a chance to berate the CSIs in what will become time-honoured fashion: they’re scientists who spend their time in the lab and don’t know what it’s like out on the street. Grissom has probably never even drawn his gun…

… which is super IRONIC of course because what has to happen later in the episode but a GUN SHOWDOWN? It all starts with a skeleton that an unfortunate plumber discovers in the house foundations (and which Nick and Grissom chisel out)

Grissom and Nick

I think they've found Narnia

and which turns out to be a missing person (whose face forensic artist Terri constructs in a glorious Ghost-esque clay scene with the Grisster).

Terri

The look of love

Grissom and Terri

Sing it with me now: "Ohhhh, my love, my darling, I've hungered for your touch..."

Petersen Pout

Really, can you blame the woman? PPP sez, "no you can't"

Dead head

For the work of the country (and Canada)'s best forensic artist, she still looks like a Neanderthal woman from a museum diorama

She’s called Faye and it turns out her (ex-)boyfriend is still living (with his new wife) in the house they shared.

Killers

One of these people is not like the other...

Nick and Grissom

CRIME SOLVING IN PROCESS

Missing the obvious fact that the guy appears to have perfect eyesight and thus is unlikely to be a criminal, Grissom has him arrested, leaving Nicobobinus (who seems to have sorted out his shirt issues and is looking F-I-N-E in this episode with a kind of 50s hairstyle going on) alone with the real culprit and suddenly rather vulnerable…

Gunpoint

Uh oh

Nick in danger

But look at his beautiful face! Don't hurt his beautiful face!

Poor old Nick is basically on the point of despair when Grissom FINALLY puts two and two together and rushes back – drawing his gun, of course, in your face snidey policeman – to rescue the lovely Mr Stokes. Who can’t help falling apart a little bit with relief.

Nick cries

Yes, it's a tear glinting on his cheek. He's a delicate flower. And that's why I like him

Nick isn’t the only one going to bits in this episode: despite Grissom’s best advice

Petersen Pout (again)

PPP says: "I told you to hand this case over to Warrick"

Catherine ends up handling a case involving her ex-husband, Eddie.

Eddie

He looks a bit like a puffy-faced Will Ferrell. Could do better, Catherine

A dancer with a bad fringe (just like Catherine herself once was) accuses him of raping her.

Bad fringe!

Much too short. It's like a reverse Claudia Winkleman

Turns out he didn’t do it, but the whole thing leaves Catherine a little bit shaken. She’s not over Will Ferrell yet.

Catherine cries

He's not worth it, really he isn't

At least she has a bit of banter with Greg to cheer her up.

Greg: So, you used to work at the French Palace, huh? My friends and I used to go there… Maybe I saw you perform.
Catherine: Oh, I doubt it.
Greg: Why?
Catherine: You would have remembered.

Oh and speaking of? Greg shirtwatch says… ANOTHER CORKER! This is evidently the only outlet for the CSI wardrobe department’s frustrated creativity.

Greg's bad shirt

Greg Sanders' shirts: the American equivalent of Pat Butcher's earrings

Last point… Doc Robbins arrives in this episode! What a nice beardy old man he is.

Doc Robbins

Doctor Robbins, what's the worst that can happen? Well, he's a coroner, so, quite bad stuff actually