Archives for category: VERY GORY (vomiting cops)

This episode STINKS! No don’t worry I am not being uncharacteristically harsh and judgemental, just typically witty and insightful. This episode is brought to you by the sense of smell. That is, odour provides the unifying thread which runs through the two plots and through this week’s CSI banter as well. It’s subtle like a gentle whiff of blossom (i.e., it isn’t made explicit in the episode’s title – maybe they couldn’t think of an appropriate pun); but it’s definitely there.

Poor old Sara gets a particularly harsh deal. She and Nick are on B-plot duty, kicking off their assignment with a dramatic helicopter mission to pick up ‘one gnarly-looking head’

Sara Sidle Nick Stokes helicopter

Badaba-ba... bada-bababa... badaba-ba... bada-babababa-ba-bababa-bababaaaaaaaa...

and (on Sara’s part) some banter with a hunky emergency services guy.

Hunky dude

Windswept

 Sara: Down boy!

Nick loves it

Nick loves it

Nick: Nothing like flirting over a DB…

Nick Stokes eyebrows

... unless it's Nick's eyebrow ear-lift of course (this should move! click on it if it doesn't!)

Unfortunately the gnarly-looking head proves to be gnarlier than anybody would like to hope, belonging to a chappie who quickly gains the nickname ‘Liquid Man’.

Human soup

Human soup

Liquid Man is not only a pungent presence

Bad smell

Ewwww

Bad smell

Euuuurgh

Bad smell

Pewwwww

Sara Sidle vom

Bleuuurgh

but also an unfortunately pervasive one.

Bad smell

*struggling to control nausea* *not very sexy*

To be explicit…

You smell like death

Greg: "You smell like death"

Best get changed, eh? Oh wait:

Still smell like death

Nick: "...you still smell like death."

There’s only one solution.

Shower lemons

Lemons!

Sara Sidle shampoo

Gonna wash that (liquid) man right outta my hair...

Nick Stokes SUPERHOT

That's better! (just an excuse to use this hot picture, I hear you cry? WELL DUH)

It will not surprise you to learn that the culprit in this whiffy wrongdoing is, in fact, an evil egg.

Evil egg man

He is the eggman

Elsewhere in the land of scents (??!), Warrick is trialling a $10,000 electronic nose…

Catherine and Warrick flirt

Also, flirting with Catherine

Warrick: I bet you were like that in high school [mean].
Catherine: Worse.
Warrick: You’d be the girl I ran away from.
Catherine: Until you caught me…

Nick Stokes aw shucks

(so is Nick) (Catherine is the only person for whom I'd 'llow it)

[Cath admits she was a bully in high school -] ‘but not the kind that people wanna take a gun out and shoot.’
Nick: No, you were the kind that guys fall all over themselves trying to impress.
Cath: Like you, Nick, huh?

… and a bottle of women’s perfume

Chanteuse

Chanteuse - or, as Grissom calls it, 'shan-toose'

Patented Petersen Pout

PPP sez... 'French is for LOSERS'

proves key to solving the A-case, a murder in a local high school.

Beautiful sister

Would it surprise you to learn that this beautiful lady...

School counsellorface

... smells the same as this, erm, other lady?

Catherine Willows classy

She's like a less classy version of Catherine

Finally, Grissom comes out with (emits?) a smelly non-sequiteur.

Grissom fart face

Grissom: "Did you ever smell a fart and end up blaming the wrong guy?"

Catherine Willows and Jim Brass

Was that some kind of elaborate double-bluff?

Other items necessary for discussion:

Dennis

This is Dennis

Dennis’s dad: I know I must sound like a typical parent, but my son had nothing to do with the death of the Schickel boy.

Patented Petersen Pout

PPP sez: 'OH YEAH DATZ WHAT ALL DEM PARENTS SAY'

and apparently, working to pay the rent is equivalent to putting your children through the trauma of a familial break-up:

Guidance Counsellor

Guidance Counsellor: You have no idea what these kids go through. I listen to them every day. Divorce - working parents - cliques...

However, there was one further SERIOUS REVELATION that rocked my world this episode. (You’ll want this playing for the full effect.)

McKinley High poster

WHAT'S THAT????????

MCKINLEY HIGH

IT NEVER IS

Guidance Counsellor: Look. He was a popular kid, but he was a bully. So there were probably a dozen kids who wanted to see him dead.

Yeah, but not all of them are 5’4 and wear women’s perfume.

Kurt Hummel guilty

Care to provide an alibi, Mr Hummel?

This is the first of what I like familiarly to call the BATSHIT CRAZY episodes, which the CSI writers occasionally like to spring on their unsuspecting audience. (I’m thinking ‘King Baby’ here, people… but more of that in the appropriate time and place.)

In this instance the craziness centres around an evil nutritionist

Gillian McKeith

Ha! I wish!

Creepy Nutritionist

Actually this much more nubile (AND SINISTER) sista, who appears to have stepped out of an 80s music video

who (MASSIVE SPOILER ALERT) is Eating People’s Insides.

Grossed out Grissom

So. Grossed. Out.

Nick Stokes sick

THEY DON'T CALL IT A BATSHIT CRAZY EPISODE FOR NOTHING

Instance #2 of the vomiting cops trope (Nick: ‘Guess he won’t be eating dinner tonight’), the episode prompts a lot of enjoyable double entendre; as when the evil doctor comments on Grissom’s choice of career:

Creepy Nutritionist Lady: Guess one man’s corpse is another man’s candy…

It is all good sensational (and completely unscientific) fun, much of which is generated by the excellent camaraderie always emanating from a case where Nick and Warrick are both involved

Nick and Warrick

EXTREME FACE TWINS

and particularly one where they spend much of their time analysing dog poo. Yup. It’s a glamorous life.

Nick Stokes scat analysis

Ming...

Nick wipe eye

SO MUCH MINGINGER! Nick! Did your mother never tell you that the germs from dog muck can make you go blind??! That's why you wear gloves - SO YOU CAN TAKE THEM OFF

This delightful development also prompts a suggestive allusion to the CSI training regime:

Nick: Don’t even waste your time, that’s cougar.
Warrick: How’d you figure that?
Nick: See the rabbit hair in the faeces? Don’t you remember the seminar?
Warrick: Seminar?

Gillian McKeith

I KNEW she had something to do with it

Meanwhile, Catherine’s much-exercised maternal empathy is called on once more, as a little girl dies on a fairground ride.

Catherine Willows maternal empathy

I weep for you! And for all womankind!

Catherine is quick to lay blame on the dodgy-looking carnie folk

Scary carnie man

Graaaaaaaaargh!

Cheeky carnie

Yeehaaaaaargh!

Catherine Willows angry

Don't mess with a mamaaaaa!

– the fatter of whom has what I think is a contender for best line of the series:

Redneck (arrested): You pullin’ my pud?

All the graaarrring and powerful ladyness seems to get Catherine in the mood – as by the end of the episode she is paying a visit to Mr City Engineer man, primed by their previous flirtation for some Hot Willows Lovin’.

Booty Call

This is what we at CSI denominate a 'booty call'

Catherine Willows kiss

... consider it called.

Finally, in CSI fashion news, O’Reilly has apparently been visiting the Greg Sanders Shirt Emporium

Greg Sanders

This, we know

O'Brian

This, A WHOLE NEW HORROR

and Sara is modelling what I would call her Sci Fi Alien Princess look. I LOVE IT.

Sara Sidle Sci Fi Princess

Natalie Portman eat your heart out (err... perhaps a bad choice of phrase in view of earlier developments)

This is a good, creepy, nasty episode: the first with just one crime at its centre. The scene is dripping in gore – allowing for a popular CSI trope, the vomiting cop, to make its own first appearance.

Vomiting cop

The 1st rule of CSI: cops can't hack a bloody mess

Also showing up for the first time? O’Reilly, about whose big craggy face I feel rather fondly.

O'Reilly

A mighty mountain of a man

Anyway, so the crime is a quadruple homicide. Mum, Dad and two sons have both been murdered, leaving only the daughters alive. The oldest one, Tina, soon finds herself under suspicion

Tina

Tina, under suspicion (or, auditioning for an Abba video)

along with her boyfriend, who looks a little bit like a less attractive Heath Ledger.

Heath Ledger-alike

Heath?

Heath Ledger

Heath!

Meanwhile, the youngest sister (second celebrity guest of the season…) is busy making friends with Sara, who Grissom assigns to look after her (and who is less than thrilled with the job).

Sara and kid

Now this is one buddy drama I'd like to see become a full series

It seems like in the end, Sara doesn’t mind spending time with Brenda (who calls their tiny daughter Brenda??) but she is able to MESS WITH GRISSOM’S mind in one of those scenes that makes me love her, just a bit.

Grissom: What are you doing now?
Sara: Going back to the girl.

Dakota Fanning

So small... so vulnerable

Sara: I left her in the car.

Grissom WTF

... whut

Sara: (Explanatory) The windows are cracked.

Catherine WTF

... no seriously, whut

Sara: Give me a little credit. She’s at the hospital.

Nick lolz

OH SARA YOU CRAZY JOKER!

Anyway. This ep is so good I actually don’t want to go into more detail about how things turn out (in case anybody ends up going back to watch it) but suffice to say that this time it’s Grissom who wants to know not just how, but why (something that Catherine was harassing Nick about back in Episode 5) but it’s Catherine whose excellent moment of realisation

Catherine's realisation face

Face of realisation

provides the forensic confirmation. Oh, and there’s time for just one Petersen Pout along the way.

Petersen Pout

PPP sez... "This is a grim and unexpected development"

The broader theme of this episode is to do with the CSIs’ respective priorities. There’s the first inkling of Sara’s extreme all or nothing attitude to the job, as she pops up at Grissom’s side almost as soon as the crime has happened:

Sara: Heard on the scanner, quadruple – figured you might need a hand.
Grissom: You don’t sleep, do you?

Catherine is struggling with related problems, as CSI-ing seems to be taking over her life at the expense of everything else. She misses picking Lindsey up from ballet, for instance. Eddie the Ex does it instead and pretends to be all nicey nicey by making pancakes and giving her a massage…

Eddie massages Cath

The supple hands of TREACHERY

… but he is secretly FULL OF NASTINESS, swiftly accusing Catherine of parental neglect and setting Ted the Social Worker on her case.

Ted

Ted, the sanctimonious face of social work

Outrageous behaviour. Meanwhile, an ongoing dispute is established as Grissom responds badly to pressure from the sheriff about this high-profile case, wanting to get on with his job.

Sheriff

Pressure! Pressure!

Sheriff: Here’s a thought: why don’t you try being more like Ecklie?

Conrad Ecklie

Yes, be like me, smooth, unprincipled and career-minded. Also, the evil twin of Alain de Botton.

Basically, this is about how Grissom might be a great scientist but he’s very bad at people-pleasing. This sets him at a disadvantage against day-shift supervisor Ecklie, who pops up to be very competitive and sanctimonious about how Grissom is committing career suicide by alienating the sheriff. I spy a long-running rivalry in the making!

Grissom crossword

Grissom's better at the old cryptics though AND THAT'S WHAT REALLY COUNTS