Season 2 Episode 12: You’ve Got Male

Standard stuff this episode: Sara’s a loser with no social life, Grissom is inappropriate, Catherine is badass and yet loaded with maternal empathy. And Greg is desperate for the approval of his superiors. JUST ANOTHER DAY AT THE CSI OFFICE.

To take the smaller story first, Nick and Catherine investigate the death of a guy who was apparently shot in a hunting accident. Apparently they are also engaged in some kind of fancy dress competition.

Qui? Moi? (Catherine has obviously come as a French mime) (all mimes are French, right?)

Can you guess who Nick has come as?

Here's another shot to give you a clue (note the jumper)

Obviously, this is obvious. Nick's whole face (his whole body, heh heh) is an Action Man costume

YOU GUYZ I'M SERIOUS

ANYWAY enough of my obsession with Nick’s face. Hunting guy has left behind a grieving widow

Grieving

who quickly discovers a surefire way to get Catherine onside.

Grieving widow: … with the baby and all…

Did you say BABY? Wouldn't that make you a MOTHER? I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEEEEEL!

Anyway this is quite a sad little story (except for a brief happy moment where Nick and Catherine model some attractive waders)

People say I look like me da (ten points for anybody who gets that reference)

and therefore ill-suited to my CUTTING AND SARCASTIC WIT. So I will maybe leave it there.

Meanwhile on the main storyline, Grissom and Sara are probing the case of two, very different, sisters, both found dead in some pipes near a field. One of them is glamorous and has tattoos. The other one (much to Grissom’s surprise) doesn’t shave her legs.

What kind of sorry excuse for a woman does she think she is?!

Obviously, with that kind of weird sociopathic behaviour, one who just likes to stay at home and buy things on the internet. (Actually this might merit a new post category: Internet Weirdos. Anybody on CSI who participates in social media is usually suspect in some way.)

Gosh Grissom, not everyone can be as UNFEASIBLY GLAMOROUS as you appear to look on your ID badge headshot

Anyway after a brief hiatus of suspecting glamour-girl’s boyfriend, Not Mark Wright

Mark Wright

Mark Wrong

Grissom is soon set on the right (Wright?) (I’ve overused that one) track, via an enterprising prison governor who has his inmates working shifts on a kind of boutique call centre.

*Johnny Cash plays as hold music*

PPP sez... "This is the kind of shizzle that went down at Shawshank. And that didn't end well for ANYBODY. Except Tim Robbins. And Morgan Freeman."

Seems like dowdy hairy lady ordered herself a MAN as well as some (dowdy, hairy) clothing.

Mail order boyfriend

Nothing wrong with that (though it’s always risky to purchase sight unseen) but a sudden (Greg-enabled) realisation later

BUT OF COURSE!

"You've got that look." << It's called a realisationface, Sanders

and (with the help of an open-minded yokel) Grissom is collecting some evidence which doesn’t look good for Mr Mail-order.

Grissom: Mr Willoughby – would you mind if I fingerprint your spigot?
Mr W: No one’s ever asked me that before.

Is this one of those fetish things you read about on the inter-ma-net?

Lesson of the day? The internet is BAD, mmmkay?!

That’s the lesson for the viewer, anyway: Sara receives with a more personal takeaway as HEAVY PARALLELS are drawn between her and hairy internet lady. She realises the similarity herself, as they look around Donna’s house –

Sara: We already know she cooks like I do – takeout on speed dial.

Alert! This is Sara's house! Note the many takeout menus on the fridge. (I thought this was our first look in a CSI's home but actually I think we see chez Catherine a few times in the first season)

– but the point’s made more harshly when Nick (somewhat out of the blue) gets on Sara’s case about her obsession with work.

Nick: Sara – you gotta get out more.

That was way harsh, Thai!

I feel like this exchange is a bit weird and gratuitous but maybe I am expressing unrealistic expectations about character integrity… Nick is a nice boy!

I mean, he is objectively right. The empty answering machine is an Ancient Symbol of Doom. (What's the 2010s equivalent? An empty email inbox?)

But Greg agrees, it was uncharacteristically catty. Booo!

Season 2 Episode 7: Caged

Boys versus girls in this episode, as Sara and Catherine take on one case – which, unusually, opens the episode but isn’t really the central focus for the storyline – and Grissom, Nick, O’Reilly and Greg tackle the other. And indeed, it’s the same story (BATTLE OF THE SEXES) within the cases themselves.

Girl power!

First up, Catherine and Sara deal with the story of a girl whose car has been hit by a train.

INCOMING

I’ve been thinking that I ought to record the intro lines for each of the episodes (you know, the punny ones before the credits kick in; my little sister and I spent a good half hour in the sea on holiday trying to think of a suitable variant for our own case, should our bodies and bodyboards be washed up at Grissom’s feet (we failed)) so here’s what this episode had to offer:

Grissom: The question is, why did the SUV cross the tracks?
Catherine: To get to the other side.

Don't even make that face Gil Grissom you have made much worse jokes AND WELL YOU KNOW IT

In fact it turns out that the SUV crossed the tracks because it was being PUSHED BY A CRAZY DUDE who had fought with the lady driver, notably provoking her by saying an UNMENTIONABLE WORD of which both Sara and Catherine disapprove (seriously bad news).

*realisation face* I HAVE DISCOVERED OUR ENEMY

Fat, unpleasant, caucasian, shortsighted... speccy white guy returns

Luckily, feminist retribution is swift. YEAHHHHHHH.

In the other storyline, Grissom is in his element (and both Nick and O’Reilly far out of theirs) as a death is discovered in what appears to be the Las Vegas Rare Books Room (it has got a proper title but I didn’t write it down). Run by Budget Kevin Spacey

Up to 95% cheaper than the real thing (ironic given he has problems with forgeries)

and staffed by Aaron, who is autistic,

I probably chose an unfairly unflattering screencap (but that's just how I roll)

both books and autism appear to cause issues for Grissom’s team.

Grissom to O’Reilly: It’s a controlled environment. Notice how you’re not sweating?

Gosh are you suggesting that O'Reilly's comfortable bulk might translate into him being unusually sweaty at other times? Bit cheeky (especially given Grissom's secret, and possibly mythical, fatboy past)

Grissom: I think he’s autistic.
Nick: What, you mean like Rain Man?

O’Reilly: You know that weird guy?
Grissom: He’s not weird, O’Reilly, he’s autistic.
O’Reilly: Whatever.

PPP sez... "This is just embarrassing, guys"

Nick’s made even more uncomfortable in a hairy moment reminiscent of his anxiety over the radioactive gnome, as he finds out that library lady was killed by ricin poisoning:

Nick: Whoah whoah whoah, biotoxin as in ANTHRAX? SMALLPOX? I was at that crime scene for eight hours, man!
Greg: Relax, man, it takes like 2 hours for ricin symptoms to show, and like 48 more to kill you.

Not so reassured

This time, he takes steps to deal with the situation.

Taking proper precautions

Once the team have composed themselves, there are lots of parallels drawn between Aaron’s stereotypical autistic traits (awkwardness, attention to detail) and Grissom’s own personality – Nick makes it explicit – which makes this little moment somehow even funnier:

Grissom: *takes photos of dead woman*
Aaron: Don’t do that
Griss:

*WOT*

You know it’s bad when even a guy who is supposedly a complete social incompetent thinks you’re being inappropriate…! Still, before long Grissom and his new kindred spirit have resolved their difficulties and are merrily quoting Shakespeare at each other – Grissom’s favourite is Hamlet (don’t even get me started) but Aaron’s is Othello; both, I’d argue, fit the GENDER WARS theme that I’m faintly discerning in this episode.

Digression alert: it also means the inclusion of my favourite line from Othello: ‘put out the light, and then put out the light’. I mostly like it because it reminds me of a sheet we were given in the first year of our English degree full of rhetorical devices and examples – like this one, antanaclasis, where you repeat a phrase but it means something different each time (in this case, literal meaning/metaphorical meaning – lights out/DEATH). At the risk of sounding like Geeky Grissom,

Grissom: Botanically speaking, it’s a spurge, not a bean. [I just love the word spurge]

I LOVE A RHETORICAL TERM! There are so many and they just make you think about all the potential there is to do clever things with language. Anyway. Back to the regularly scheduled programming.

If the story outside the lab is of MAN VERSUS WOMAN, back at CSI headquarters the tech staff are feeling the love. Archie’s efficiency wins him Catherine’s (unspoken) admiration…

Sara: She definitely likes you.

And with cheekbones like those, who wouldn't?!

… Greg is on excellently banterous form

Greg: I know what you’re all thinking – I’m just a bit of a pretty face… got to where I am by sleeping with Catherine… but seriously. Phi Beta Kappa – Stanford – can I help it if I’m hip?

Nick's is not the face of someone who was thinking that

(including some more Standers* banter)…

Nick: I always thought you kept your porn in there.
Greg: I, er, move it around.

And when I say 'move' I mean 'follow', and when I say 'it' I mean 'you'

… and Doc Robbins conceives a weird but very powerful affection for Nick’s light-up evidence table.

"Great table - I could really use this"

"Nick... I love this table"

Oh well, whatever rubs your Buddha I suppose!

* how’s that for a portmanteau?

Season 2 Episode 5: Scuba-Doobie-Doo

Unfortunately after last week’s enjoyable smellfest this week’s episode is pretty mediocre. It feels like the writers (let’s name and shame: Elizabeth Devine and Andrew Lipsitz – both regular contributors) were more interested in the setup than in the payoff; unlike the tight theming of the previous episode, this time neither story feels cohesive.

That said, there are still some things to be enjoyed. This is CSI after all!

So, the main plotline begins with this guy, Cliff, aka ‘nose man’ (Sara), aka ‘the Schnoz’ (Grissom), ‘expirating blood from his nose all over his apartment walls to get back at his manager’.

Exhibit A

Yes you're right Jim, that IS disgusting

Cliff is unrepentant (also, looks like a fat Charlie from Busted)

(sorry Charlie)

Confusingly (disappointingly?), Cliff turns out to have done nothing wrong, beyond being kind of gross; but JUST BY CHANCE a crime HAS been committed in the neighbouring apartment.

My spidey-sense is tingling! (aka, realisationface)

The number on the door should probably be a clue this guy is up to no good

Thank goodness Grissom is able to save face by stumbling fortuitously upon an unrelated criminal proceeding!

Also, this gnarly-looking corpse (to borrow a phrase from last ep's emergency dude)

Maybe you can see why I wasn’t that overwhelmed with admiration.

Nick’s storyline feels similarly halfhearted. He and Catherine are, briefly, excited to be confronted with a scuba diver unexpectedly roosting in a tree. He’s the ‘rocket man’ to Sara’s ‘nose man’.

The stuff of (urban) legend

However, all too soon it becomes clear that the guy wasn’t scooped out of Lake Mead by firecopters (as Nick spends a few minutes energetically hoping):

Nicky: he can't handle the truth

rather, this is a much more straightforward story of Friendship Gone Bad.

Also of Matt Damon and Kiefer Sutherland's evil lovechild, and his lawyer, friendly George Bush

Zzzzz! It’s like a less exciting version of the spontaneous combustion story from the previous season. With that in mind, all the excitement this ep does have to offer comes from the CSIs’ romantic relationships… and most of all, from Greg.

So: GSR alert as Sara ‘wipes some chalk’ off Grissom’s face, in a lingering moment of desire.

Ohhhhhhhh myyyyyyy love... my darling... I HUN-ger for... your touch

"I'm intrigued... AND AROUSED"

Unfortunately for Sara, she has to compete with this guy:

Griss: Either Paul or John.
Sara: A Very Important Beetle?

A true look of longing

By the end of the episode, Grissom is turning down breakfast with Sara (AND NICK! crazy fool) to spend more time with his new friend.

Gotta take your friends where you can get them, especially when you're Gruesome Grissom I guess

Catherine meanwhile is pumping our old pal the district engineer for information (hahaha pumping BET THEY’VE DONE THEIR SHARE OF THAT [too far?])

Willowz meanz bizniss

and letting Greg off lightly when (in a moment of giddy madness) he refers to her as ‘Cat’.

Catherine: I’m going to forget that you called me that.

Sheepish (a little bit)

On the other hand, it's apparently fine for her to call him 'coffee boy' (alongside Nose Man and Rocket Man, part of the world's weirdest superhero supergroup)

I love it when they flirt. But the best romance of the episode? One I promised myself I wouldn’t get involved in… come on people, SOMETIMES THIS STUFF JUST WRITES ITSELF.

Cath: I just talked with your partner – you’ve been working this case without me, huh?
Nick: ?
Cath: Greg SANDERS?
Nick: Let go of my Greggo! He’s a CSI wannabe.

Let go of my Greggo? I LOVE IT!!!!!!

Almost as much as I love this ridiculous shirt...

... but not even as much as I love this moment! (it's a gif, click it)

So. Good. (Anybody know the appropriate portmanteau for the Nick/Greg ‘ship??!)

Season 1 Episode 18: $35K O.B.O.

I seem to start every single one of these updates with a reference to the CSIs’ love lives, and essentially this one is just the same: Catherine and Greg have got exciting new haircuts, Grissom enjoys the feel of a young body in his arms, and Sara and David are flirting… AGAIN.

First things first, however, and the A-case (the one that opens the episode) is jeopardised by the WRATH OF MOTHER NATURE when a serious downpour sets in just as the CSIs arrive at the crime scene. Luckily there’s a handy eyewitness around to let them know exactly what went down.

Huh. He seems pretty SWEATY AND GUILTY. Guess that's just the rain...

Deceived by his blue eyes and delicate cheekbones, the team launch a hunt for the killer which takes them, via a third victim (who provides Grissom with a frisson of physical excitement, as her corpse falls out of a stolen car)…

Caught you!

Grissom: Well, I haven’t felt that in a while.
Brass: What’s that?
Grissom: The element of surprise. (OR, A YOUNG WOMAN’S NUBILE FLESH)

THRILLED TO THE CORE

… to her flat, where Nick does some hilarious hacking…

Worried that Grissom, rejected by Terri, is transferring his affections

PPP sez... "Did we really log into her online banking with the username 'Jessica' and the password 'money'? Good thing people here in 2001 don't know how the internet works!"

… then through an incredible 3-way realisationface…

Oho! Aha! Ihi!

… and the inevitable crime scene re-enaction…

Where's Catherine with the Polaroid camera when you need her?

… to a bit of climactic laser-pointing from Grissom…

"You'll note that for the genuine Petersen Pout the lips have to remain together, though slightly projected from the face"

… and finally RIGHT BACK TO WHERE THEY STARTED.

GUILTIEST. CPR. EVER.

PPP sez... "Doh!"

Meanwhile, Greg is working the Hoxton fin

Fran from Travis: the thinking chemist's style icon

and Catherine, with a schmancy new haircut of her own

Going all-out with the glitzy clip

is bickering/flirting with the district engineer, as she investigates a building which has inexplicably collapsed.

Hate the bickering...

... LURVE THE FLIRTIN'

Even more, lurve the hard hat. WORK IT, sister!

As I already implied in my tantalising opener, Catherine isn’t the only one flirting, as Sara and David exchange amused

Amused

/longing

Longing

looks across the body of Grissom’s surprising victim. It seems to put Sara in a good mood, anyway, as she gives this random, helpful but chubbly knife expert

Knife to see you, to see you...

the biggest smile I have ever seen her produce! Hurrah for a Sidle full of delight!

Radiant like the frickin' sun

Still, for all that Sara, Catherine and Greg are looking their best this episode (I’ll be charitable and say nothing about Grissom) (oops, too late), we all know whose arms I’d rather be in.

Come on, people. It wouldn't be right for me to finish an update with a picture of anyone else.

Season 1 Episode 13: Boom

Boom is right! The budget has gone crazy in this ep and we have a real super bona fide explosion… or several.

BOOM! Oh wait, you meant...

Televisual DECADENCE

The episode kicks off with a bomb exploding in a big office block, killing a security guard and landing Warrick, Catherine and Sara with a massive great jigsaw puzzle as they try to work out what happened. Grissom, meanwhile, is spending time with suspect numero uno

What a chubbly berkum

– another security guard with a suspiciously encyclopaedic knowledge of explosives. However, as time passes, Grissom begins to bond with this weird and kindly fellow, so that by the time the real culprit is discovered and Berko is left holding the bomb, it’s all become a little personal.

Face of imminent fiery death

There he goes... Grissom's no.1 candidate for potential friendship

Now he has only his bajillion clocks for company

Bad times. (Times… geddit?)

Of course the real personal interest storyline comes from (let’s face it) everybody’s main person of interest, lovely Nicky Stokes. After a few drinks with an old uni pal, he turns down the chance of a night chasing these babes

The very embodiment of 'What happens in Vegas'

and is just heading home to write reports (what a geek) when he comes across our OLD FRIEND Kristy Hopkins, getting in a fight with a suspicious randomer. One rescue later (Nick loves to be a knight in shining armour) and she’s inviting him in for a drink…

ALLURING

Kristy: Just ‘cos you’re a crime scene analyst, you don’t have to analyse everything.

Analyse THAT

So far so good but suddenly DISASTER STRIKES as Nick’s cosy morning-after breakfast turns into a MURDER SCENE. And he’s prime suspect.

Face of regretting I ever let it out my pants

Even worse? Ecklie is investigating and on his most sanctimonious form.

Loving it more than JT loves a Big Mac

Ecklie: You think I wanna believe that a CSI could commit murder? Hell, I don’t even wanna believe that a CSI could sleep with a hooker.

WHATEVS CONRAD. WE’VE ALL DONE IT.

Anyway if a CSI gets arrested apparently it’s automatic dismissal – good thing for Nick that Catherine (lovely lady that she is) (the fact that she saves Nick’s ass isn’t even the main reason why I love her) is on the case. One moment of realisation later

Aha!

and she has a slam-dunk on Kristy’s dodgy pimp.

Booo! Hiss!

Yeehaw!

Catherine, you're an absolute hero

Unfortunately before Pimpy gets put away he has time for a quick confrontation with Nick, just enough to disillusion him about Kristy’s avowed plans to reform and get an education. ALL LIES (apparently).

Jack: This isn’t Pretty Woman. She wasn’t Julia Roberts. You’re not Richard Gere.

And a good thing too, Richard Gere is one of the least sexy men ever, I think we all know that Nicky is SEX FACTOR 10

Let's examine the evidence one more time, shall we? Boom!!!

Season 1 Episode 12: Fahrenheit 932

This is a bit of a meh episode but you just have to remember that lots of it is buildup for next week’s Nickyfest (woop woop!).

First things first, in Nicky news, he and Catherine are on a casino-based case, the murder of a young kid who was placing bets on some bigdog’s behalf. Catherine gets the chance to empathise with the kid’s mother

YOU ALSO HAVE A CHILD! I WEEP FOR YOU! AND FOR ALL WOMANKIND!

and Nick models a classic realisationface as he solves the case.

Oho!

There’s also an enjoyable appearance from the dead guy’s brother, who looks like a sad beaver.

Seriously though he could be in Narnia or something

However, the episode’s main storyline involves Grissom (and Sara and Warrick) taking over on a case that Ecklie has already dealt with and which is about to go to trial. Griss gets a mystery video in the mail from this guy

It'll be on Youtube by the afternoon

(why couldn’t he write a letter? probably wanted to show off his oddly Shakespearean voice) asking Griss to investigate the arson case for which he’s being prosecuted and in which his wife and son dies. As the team realise that Ecklie’s been there before, they realise this is another instance of Grissom lacking nous when it comes to office politics.

Catherine: I see a bad moon rising…

How I wish that Catherine Willows would join me at Ukulele Wednesdays

She’s right, of course; but more than just being oblivious, Grissom actually seems to relish the opportunity to out-science Ecklie (or ‘Eck’ as he incongruously calls him at one point). He’s in a bizarrely good mood for most of the episode…

PPP sez... I LOVE SCIENCE

Yeeeeeeah

Warrick: Griss, do you ever worry about professional suicide?
Grissom: Not while I’m committing it, no!

He loves it

… which culminates in a showdown in which Grissom smashes a coffee jug. Looks like we’re in for stormy weather… but it’s not Griss who’ll take the fall.

Ecklie modelling fall colours (colors) and a bad face, as usual

Season 1 Episode 7: Blood Drops

This is a good, creepy, nasty episode: the first with just one crime at its centre. The scene is dripping in gore – allowing for a popular CSI trope, the vomiting cop, to make its own first appearance.

The 1st rule of CSI: cops can't hack a bloody mess

Also showing up for the first time? O’Reilly, about whose big craggy face I feel rather fondly.

A mighty mountain of a man

Anyway, so the crime is a quadruple homicide. Mum, Dad and two sons have both been murdered, leaving only the daughters alive. The oldest one, Tina, soon finds herself under suspicion

Tina, under suspicion (or, auditioning for an Abba video)

along with her boyfriend, who looks a little bit like a less attractive Heath Ledger.

Heath?

Heath!

Meanwhile, the youngest sister (second celebrity guest of the season…) is busy making friends with Sara, who Grissom assigns to look after her (and who is less than thrilled with the job).

Now this is one buddy drama I'd like to see become a full series

It seems like in the end, Sara doesn’t mind spending time with Brenda (who calls their tiny daughter Brenda??) but she is able to MESS WITH GRISSOM’S mind in one of those scenes that makes me love her, just a bit.

Grissom: What are you doing now?
Sara: Going back to the girl.

So small... so vulnerable

Sara: I left her in the car.

... whut

Sara: (Explanatory) The windows are cracked.

... no seriously, whut

Sara: Give me a little credit. She’s at the hospital.

OH SARA YOU CRAZY JOKER!

Anyway. This ep is so good I actually don’t want to go into more detail about how things turn out (in case anybody ends up going back to watch it) but suffice to say that this time it’s Grissom who wants to know not just how, but why (something that Catherine was harassing Nick about back in Episode 5) but it’s Catherine whose excellent moment of realisation

Face of realisation

provides the forensic confirmation. Oh, and there’s time for just one Petersen Pout along the way.

PPP sez... "This is a grim and unexpected development"

The broader theme of this episode is to do with the CSIs’ respective priorities. There’s the first inkling of Sara’s extreme all or nothing attitude to the job, as she pops up at Grissom’s side almost as soon as the crime has happened:

Sara: Heard on the scanner, quadruple – figured you might need a hand.
Grissom: You don’t sleep, do you?

Catherine is struggling with related problems, as CSI-ing seems to be taking over her life at the expense of everything else. She misses picking Lindsey up from ballet, for instance. Eddie the Ex does it instead and pretends to be all nicey nicey by making pancakes and giving her a massage…

The supple hands of TREACHERY

… but he is secretly FULL OF NASTINESS, swiftly accusing Catherine of parental neglect and setting Ted the Social Worker on her case.

Ted, the sanctimonious face of social work

Outrageous behaviour. Meanwhile, an ongoing dispute is established as Grissom responds badly to pressure from the sheriff about this high-profile case, wanting to get on with his job.

Pressure! Pressure!

Sheriff: Here’s a thought: why don’t you try being more like Ecklie?

Yes, be like me, smooth, unprincipled and career-minded. Also, the evil twin of Alain de Botton.

Basically, this is about how Grissom might be a great scientist but he’s very bad at people-pleasing. This sets him at a disadvantage against day-shift supervisor Ecklie, who pops up to be very competitive and sanctimonious about how Grissom is committing career suicide by alienating the sheriff. I spy a long-running rivalry in the making!

Grissom's better at the old cryptics though AND THAT'S WHAT REALLY COUNTS

Season 1 Episode 2: Cool Change

Excellent eyebrow acting here from George Eads as Nick enjoys a moment of realisation. I love it when you can see them think. Luckily, so do the CSI directors

Well, it’s all shabazzle in the second episode as the CSIs have to deal with the fallout from letting Holly get shot on her first day in the job. Warrick, modelling an earring which I am sure doesn’t last beyond the first season, is taking most of the flak.

As Catherine says in a weird exchange with Holly's killer... "Maybe a little bling bling?"

Yeah, I don't know what you were on about either, lady. But I like you, so I'll let it slide.

This suit, on the other hand, we really need to talk about

Not only is Sara Sidle on Warrick’s case (WOOP WOOP) but a creepy old judge guy in a Crimplene shirt keeps following him around.

You'd be sad too if you were this guy's bitch

Poor Warrick. Luckily his gambling skills are so proficient that he’s able to make $11,000 in A SINGLE HOUR to pay off the judgeface… for now. (Why is he still working at CSI? He could be making a killing on the blackjack tables!)

It's not just the judge. You can always rely on Greggo to bring the bad shirts.

There’s also a case to solve – and guess who’s involved?

MY INSTINCTS ARE NEVER WRONG

OH YEAH it’s another Speccy White Guy! Granted this one is ‘the victim’ not the criminal but he’s still pretty unpleasant. He dumps his girlfriend when he wins $40 million on the slots. Who can blame her for killing him?

Buff

He is pretty stacked I guess. He probably could do better. On the other hand, his muscular build, while pleasing to the eye, puts him outside the true SWG stereotype (and is probably the real reason why HE HAS TO DIE).

Nick (probably feeling some hunky sympathy) isn’t too impressed with the girl whodunnit. She gets his best face.

Bish, please

The real story of the episode though is the establishment of the CSI team we KNOW AND LOVE. Sara rocks in from San Francisco (albeit, not to everybody’s best pleasure: she has Catherine’s hackles up straightaway) and Brass is moved away from CSI and onto Homicide.

Sorry, Jimbo

We all know what that means…

Nick: Who’s gonna run the unit?
Grissom: For now, me.

YOU KNOWZ IT, G-DOG! “For now” my ass.

ThasswhadI'mtalkinabout

Last word goes to Nicky, who with typical incisiveness asks Grissom the question on EVERYBODY’S minds.

Nick: How do you know all this crap?